DISCIPLESHIP SERIES 4: ACCOUNTABILITY

Q1: What does accountability mean to you?

Answers:

“Accountability. From the word I hear keeping account, getting the details or run down of an event. Accountability in our context is keeping someone updated on the particular events in an aspect of your life or all of it.”  - Chelsea

“Accountability is to be held responsible for an action.”  - Chijioke

“It means being able to give details about what is being given to you either Money, task, etc” - Bisi Kalejaiye  

“The acceptance of responsibility for one's own actions.” - Ewadunni

 

Q2: Can you name 3 people you are accountable to (Please don't say God or any other member of the Trinity 😁)?

Bisi Kalejaiye - My husband, My Aunt, A sister friend.

Chijioke - My biological parents, my leader in choir unit, my fiancee

Chelsea - I'm accountable to my mum, My pastor, My choir head

Debola - My mum, My dad, My siblings and friends

 

Accountability is simply the act of submitting ourselves to at least one other person. Accountability is not just I'm accountable to xyz so I'm telling them my plans. It goes beyond that.

Accountability is submission to the people we have chosen to be accountable to.

 

Why is accountability important in discipleship?

Discipleship requires constant/consistent training and discipline and if we look at our last prophetic meeting where we all discussed our struggles, a common factor for most of us was self-discipline. This will mean that if man is left alone to disciple himself, he will struggle with it and maybe fail thanks to inability to stay consistently self-disciplined.

So yes, Accountability is also us giving another the key to helping us stay disciplined. So when we think of accountability in the body of Christ, the first thing that comes to mind is, "someone you can report another to when they mess up". Yes, the person you are accountable to is this. They hold you responsible when you fail to meet up.

But accountability is way beyond this.

Accountability is a principle that helps you not to fail in the first place, of course, you will have to be submissive.

Think of accountability as your help towards staying committed to God and keeping your commitments (to God, self and mankind), just like a life chaperone.

It is allowing another to speak truth to your life. That's such a very powerful thing.

Who can we be accountable to?

Your accountability partner can be anybody:

1. Friend

2. Spouse

3. Groups

Most importantly, spiritual leaders. The reason spiritual leaders fall into this category is that accountability involves submission and most people do not know how to submit. So because I cannot change it for my pastor, it is easier for me to be accountable to him.

For those of us that already have people we are accountable to, what is the process like?

Debola - For me, it’s informing them of my struggles or asking advice from them or just talking to them really. Alternatively, it’s them seeing me do wrong and they calling me out on my wrong and setting me straight.

QUESTIONS

Q1 - First, the person I'm accountable to has the right to question me and demand for necessary information on details concerning my life right?

A1: Yes. And you should also be submissive enough to let go of this information and take their input

Q2: So I spoke to a female pastor and told her I want to be accountable to her. Funny enough, she doesn't ask me anything? Is just like I'm forcing myself to be accountable by her. What should I do??? That's why I didn't put her as someone I'm accountable to in your previous question.

A2: On this, 2 will walk together only if they agree. If you feel led to her, this is fine. Continue to update your actions and all to her. If you are not sure this is a leading, you can find a spiritual leader more accessible to you. Because leaders are largely busy you may not be able to get their attention 24/7, but at least they should be there to an extent.

Q3: How about if you don't have someone? How about if you are not accountable to anyone?

A3: So you have to have someone. There is someone in your circle, from your friends to leaders. There should be someone you are accountable to at every point in your life

 

WHEN FELLOWSHIP BECOMES A STRUGGLE

 So I will ask us, 

What does fellowship (with God) mean to you?

What are the major areas of application for believers?

Samson - Fellowship is being "fellows" with God - There is a relationship where you and God share  and discuss stuff, you know him as Father and he knows you as son/daughter. Fellowship with God is our identity as believers. We can't say we are believers if we don't know he who saved us. It involves every area of our lives

Ayodele - Fellowship, for me means time spent enjoying the presence of God and just worshipping. The overall totality of my relationship, defined by worship. Its like my own personal time with the Holy Spirit. Bonding time

Debola - Building a relationship with him. Talking to him

Sumi - For me Fellowship is spending quality time with God

If fellowship is communication, what are the areas of application

Samson - As I said, it should be applied in every area of our lives. Fellowship is not just when we go to church and praise is going on and we are happy. Fellowship with God is also during our lowest moments, decision time, when having dinner, when watching a match...it is the constant connection to the Father at every moment/stage of our lives

Sumi - In all areas. From directions and instructions in all areas. For example Work, choices etc

When Fellowship becomes a struggle

Application area: Prayer and Studying the word

How many of us have struggled with fellowship (in terms of this application areas) or are currently struggling? What is it like?

Samson - Thank God for daily sharing on Word alive and daily prayers. 😩 Sometimes before you know it, you never do personal bible study for 3 days

Ayodele - me! Sometimes I am just tired or lazy. Some other times, I am distracted by too many  things. Work can be overwhelming but I realised that in the midst of that 'busyness', I still find time for other recreational things.

Precious - I have. The struggle is real, there are times when I get carried away with work, Bible study and prayers become a struggle, sometimes when I need something and it's not fourth coming it becomes a struggle to pray, other times I'm just tired internally

Remi - Me too, I will answer. There are times the struggle is like every Eke market day 😭 Some times, I'm praying fire but struggling with studying.  Also, struggling for me is not the absence of these things o. It is the zeal and energy involved. Like I'm praying and studying but I know I'm not really praying and studying. Everything is just lifeless and forced somehow

Sumi - Me. Most times tiredness and sleep. And procrastination too

First, I will like us to know that You are not alone

That struggle to come to God, that period of prayerlessness, you can read all the novels in the world but the minute you open bible, you are tired.

You are not alone

When it comes to fellowship, here are the struggle areas I've found so far:

- Distractions

- Consistency

- Time management

- Lack of Zeal

- Feeling disconnected

- Sin and Guild

- Laziness 

- Hope Deferred 

Pearl - Sin and guilt is it for me, along side fear of failure, due to past failure. Like what's the point of starting again now, when I know I won't be consistent?

I'm sure every believer (including our pastors), have experienced one area of struggle or the other in their walk. You probably can relate to one of these things or even all. Maybe you are currently struggling with prayer or studying the word. Or even both

Please note that the word struggling is not just the absence. That's another thing the devil does. You still have your You Version streaks so yes you are on course. But deep down, you know that something is not balanced.

Struggling is not just the absence of fellowship. People can be in a marriage and struggle to make it work

Acknowledging where you are in your fellowship with God is a great starting place. You can't move forward without it. And no, it is nothing to be ashamed of.

For some of us, we are "prayer warriors" o. In fact, as we are finishing prayers like this, we are updating everybody on status with "Rhema"

In fact, it is the Rhema that pushes us to fellowship. We are trying to feed the world but deep down, we neva chop belleful (for the non Nigerians, this means we have not eaten to the full ourselves)

Prayer warrior but deep down, you know you are struggling

One thing the devil does so well is help you to believe a lie to massage your ego. As long as you have made yourself believe there is no problem, you will keep going down that line

The worst will be spiritual leaders or those with spiritual gifts. In seasons of prayerlessness and not studying the word, you will be surprised you can raise the dead.

The grave will still listen to you and tear open when you speak, so you pat yourself on the back that all is well but all is not well

And then you back this lack of fellowship up with work.

You try to substitute work with fellowship but they are not the same.

The time we spend with God should be way more than the time we spend ministering God to people.

Our first step is acknowledging that this is where we are. A lot of us are still doing hard guy with God

There is nobody that walks in love with God not marked by vulnerability. So first, acknowledge that there is something wrong

This helps me a lot 

I can tell you that since my prayer life peaked between 2016 and 2017, I'm not sure I've stayed struggling with fellowship for more than a week. I'm quick to spot that something is wrong. 

I do not think that I'm bigger than something being wrong

So immediately something is wrong, I see it and get back on track

I'm going to share a story

I'm sure I've shared it with you guys before but I will again

Dec 31st 2015, watch night service.

After the service, everyone had gone to the city centre to watch fireworks. I stayed behind with my pastor and church keyboardist and we started praying.

We prayed for about 2 hours that day and my pastor asked all 3 of us to commit to praying everyday at midnight for the next 6 months.

Almost 6 years after, I have not stopped

That same December, I had broken up with the person I was dating for no reason. Little did I know that God was calling me into something deeper and distractions had to be cut off. You know I said me and my pastor prayed for 3 hours the first night. As we left the church, all 3 of us set an alarm for 12 midnight.

So the next day, I had to continue alone.

I prayed, prayed and prayed. Prayed for like 10 hours, opened my eyes to check time and it was still 12:05am

So all that long prayer was just 5 minutes 😭😭😭 I wanted to die. It was easier to pray for hours with other people cos we can take from each other's fire. In fact, after we left church that day I remember getting home to continue praying and I stayed there for long.

I basically was fueled up from the group prayers

But as it remained only me, fuel finished and 5 minutes felt like 5 days

It was at that time I knew I was in for a ride

But I was also ready for the ride

Another sad part to this my story was that my tongues vocabulary was really low. Na just one sentence I sabi then. I'm not sure I had up to 8 syllables 😭

Tongues help a lot in prayers as they cover all the things our human minds cannot. But me I was limited at that time. So I had to make do with the language of man. Tough ride o but I rode still.

Day 2, same thing.

I was still struggling

I had roommates then, so it was also very distracting.

We are watching originals together and my alarm goes off (one thing I never did was choose any other thing over my prayer time).

I will stand up and go start prayer in my corner but I'm hearing someone shout "Klaus has killed him, eh God". I'm thanking God but I'm also longing to know who Klaus killed.

Or I'm praying and I open my eyes to somebody kissing their boyfriend in the room.

It got to a point, I wrote on a stick note "Remi you will die if you don't pray" and placed around me. Cos it looked like the devil was working hard to ensure I don't pray

5 minutes

5 minutes turned to 10 minutes, then 15 minutes.

And then 1 hour

Sometime in 2017, I found out I had prayed for over 5 hours on my own unplanned.

Like I had just stayed in fellowship, enjoying  God

I cried that day, cos I knew where I was coming from. 5 hours turned to 8 hours then 24 full hours, 2 days non stop....Without fuel from other people

How did I move from struggling to pray and study for 5 minutes to fellowshipping for hours? Yes, the 5 minutes included bible study, praise and worship and prayer 😂.

It was that bad for me

Intentionality

This was my number one step

I wanted God, I wasn't even sure of all the details. But I knew that I wanted Him so I took that step

You will have to be intentional with choosing Fellowship.

Life is busy

There is so much noise around us

So much dragging for your attention

You have to make that choice yourself

Be intentional with studying the word and praying.

If you can read this and you currently struggle with consistency in any of prayer and the word, immediately go to your alarm. Fix a time you know you are mostly free and can be alone. You can fix both together or fix them separately.

Let me tell you a truth, you won't survive by vibes.

You have to be intentional about being consistent and this is your first step

Pick a time and make it a date with God.

Pick it now

Don't procrastinate

Jesus had a habit of fellowship with God

A few days later, Jesus went out to a mountain to pray. He stayed there all night praying to God. Luke 6:12 ERV

After he said goodbye to them, he went up into the hills to pray. Mark 6:46 ERV

Word Alive daily prayers will not replace your own personal fellowship. The daily reading schedule can serve as your personal guide though but you must read on your own too even as you come online to check what others share.

My alarm was set for 12 midnight, I remember days when I'm watching movies with my roommates.

Before my alarm goes off, Martina is already telling me it's almost 12 o, you will not go and pray.

Sometimes I want to continue the movie with them but I had unknowingly built a habit that the people around me had also noticed

So I'd stand up and move to my bed. There were days I'd go into the toilet to pray if I was feeling too distracted 

There were days I'd go out in the snow and take a prayer walk. If you know me well, you will know how much I dislike twitter but not even a -15°C could stop me

I used to miss class cos of cold 🙈 but not prayers.

I went all out for it (and yes, I had the help of God. I was so mightily helped by God. Will explain this part next week). So yes, fix a time for your prayer and study. Can be same time and can be separately.

But pick a time you are sure you will be free and set that alarm now.

Name it as you would

If you find yourself struggle, remember that it is normal. 5 minutes was 5 days for me for a long time.

Let that be your motivation

For those of us scared to start over again. You've been here before and it feels like you keep coming back

Hmmmmm.

I will share a story again

Between 2009 and 2011, I was in an organisation called FECA (myself and Precious). At some point, we were praying 1am everyday. Note that there was no zoom then.

I had a torchlight phone in 2009. I set alarm for that time, stand up, read the bible and pray for 1 hour.

I didn't have YouTube to play music in the background. So it was just me and my paper back bible

Somehow, life happened and I stopped praying

I was still praying o

I was praying in the midst of brethren

I was doing those rush prayers (plus Jesus minus Satan every morning)

I was opening my bible when the church/fellowship opened bible

I was even praying alone too but vibes and when it entered my head or I wanted something from God

Between 2012 and 2015, I moved from this to struggling to pray for 5 minutes

It can happen to anybody. Be ready to start prying again tomorrow. If I stop praying today, I will start praying again tomorrow

If I notice that I stopped reading my bible today, I will start again tomorrow

I will share a secret with you I do not think of myself as one that cannot struggle with fellowship

Nobody is bigger than it. So when it happens, e don happen be that

Holy Spirit, where do we start from cos my strength has failed as usual. Carry me

It's really this simple

And I move on

The early days of starting back may be difficult but I don't send

I know I will get back fully on track

Don't beat yourself over it

Even the 3 closest people to Christ slept off when they were meant to pray. God did not beat them over it. Stop holding it over your head

That's also a tactic of the enemy to keep you from God. If you fail, you start again and again and again. If you find it difficult to start over yourself, get someone to kickstart you.

Join prayer groups and refill there

Speak with a friend to join you in your fixed prayer time for a short while till you are able to stand on your own

But that feeling that you will still fail again at it so no need to try again, please let it go.

If you don't have a study plan, you can start with the reading schedule for Word Alive.

Be faithful with it and you will see growth.

You will hear God speak to you.

The "biggest" Rhema I've gotten is while reading from the schedule.

And it's amazing cos it's just random, there is no topic in mind.

I'm reading the word, open mindedly through the lens of Jesus.

You can also check You Version for devotionals or church devotionals

Just make sure you start.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT; KOINONIA

2 Corinthians 13:14 The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be with you all. Amen.

2 Corinthians 13:14 KJV

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

2 Corinthians 13:14 AMP

The grace (favor and spiritual blessing) of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the presence and fellowship (the communion and sharing together, and participation) in the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen (so be it).

2 Corinthians 13:14 AMPC

Look at this singular verse, every (Nigerian) Christian knows this by heart. If I say The Grace, we all know what next. No need to open bible

The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us all now and forever.

This was Paul's closing blessings in his second letter to the Corinthians.

And while we've gotten so used to this passage, somehow we do not understand its true meaning as so many of us do not walk in

The grace (favor and spiritual blessing) of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the presence and fellowship (the communion and sharing together, and participation) in the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen (so be it).

2 Corinthians 13:14 AMPC

Here we see an appearance of The trinity in a blessing to the church.

I'm not sure there is any other blessing that has this in the new testament.

Paul prays first for the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ to be with them.

This is only accessible of course to those who believe in Christ and have accepted Him as Lord and Saviour.

This Grace is given only by the sacrifice on the cross.

This will mean all believers have access to it.

The love of God

This is the cord holding it all. It is the anchor

It is why we have Grace through Christ Jesus. Love is what bought it all. Sweet part? This love is for all of mankind and revealed through Christ Jesus

The Fellowship of the Holy Spirit

MSG says it is the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit

KJV calls it communion

AMPC says it is not just communion/fellowship, it is expatiated into a Sharing together and participation

The word communion is Koinonia in Greek and it simply means fellowship.

Let's branch to our concordance a bit please

G2842Greek: κοινωνία

Transliteration: koinōnía

Pronunciation: koy-nohn-ee'-ah 

 ----------

 Description: from κοινωνός(G2844); partnership, i.e. (literally) participation, or (social) intercourse, or (pecuniary) benefaction:

Translation: (to) communicate(-ation), communion, (contri-)distribution, fellowship.

Just look at what we are meant to be having with the Holy Spirit. 

We've been given Grace through the love of the Father. We've also been blessed with the presence (indwelling) of the spirit inside of us as a seal of our faith.

But you see fellowship? This one that Paul is talking about, it doesn't just fall on us like Grace. We do not just find ourselves in it, no.

It requires participation. Intimate friendship doesn't just happen, it is built by efforts from both parties of this friendship

Fellowship is companionship which means to share life together. We've been called to share life together with the spirit.

He shares God's life (thoughts, mind, action, will emotions etc) with us and vice versa.

It's something so personal and beautiful. We freely interact and discuss with the Holy Spirit. Now note that this is not just Paul's advice or prayer

This is God's wish. God wants us to participate in this fellowship.

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever–

John 14:16 AMPC

And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Savior, the Holy Spirit of Truth, who will be to you a friend just like me—and he will never leave you. 

John 14:16‭ TPT

If we scroll up this chapter, we will see that Jesus had told his disciples He was leaving them.

They will not get to see Him and speak with Him daily as they used to.

All the inside gist they used to get, seems like it'd be cut off.

Jesus was leaving!

The disciples of course would not have felt good. What is the verse before the promise of the spirit?

If you love me, you will obey my commands. There is definitely a direct link to this. Fellowship with the spirit spurs us into obedience!

“I will not leave you all alone like orphans. I will come back to you. “I have told you all these things while I am with you. But the Helper will teach you everything and cause you to remember all that I told you. This Helper is the Holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name.

John 14:18‭, ‬25‭-‬26 ERV

Whatever it is the disciples thought they'd miss out on due to Jesus leaving, the spirit will be sent and that gap closed. I love the part where Jesus says He lives with you and will be in you

The easiest person to communicate is with someone that lives in the same room with you

My parents advice that married couples sleep in the same room, cos it's easier to resolve conflict.

There is no way you want to fight for a long time with someone you are living in the same room with for long. You will sha communicate

Now imagine one living inside of you. He will be in you!

There is an automatic expectation of communication.

Interactive Spiritual communication is one essential part of Fellowship of the Holy spirit.

We hear whispers of His will

His mind and stance dropped into our thoughts/mind

God's emotions showed to us.

The Holy Spirit is to reveal the deep things of God and it happens only from the place of fellowship.

In fact, this fellowship is "life" to us.

It is the link between the creator and that which is created.

We have a relationship with God as sons already. The Holy spirit is our means of communication in this relationship.

How?

Fellowship!

In fact Jesus mentioned in John 16:7

Let me assure you, it is better for you that I go away. I say this because when I go away I will send the Helper to you. But if I did not go, the Helper would not come.

John 16:7 ERV

This is how much value and importance Christ placed on fellowship.

Note the word used here is Helper and it describes beyond the indwelling of the spirit as a seal.

It denotes a link, a special help to reach God.

So important that Christ had to go

Actually, this is why Christ died too

At the beginning, God intended fellowship and it was cut off/limited after the fall of man.

God sent His only son to die so you can have fellowship!

Fellowship with Him

And while we are here on earth, we will have to do this through the Holy Spirit.

Now back to the Corinthians and Paul's letter to them.

These letters to the Corinth Church  were filled with strong corrections.

The Corinth Church had all the gifts of the spirit.

Them dey manifest die

But there was a huge problem: Carnality

How do you have the spirit and have outward expressions of Carnality? Hmmmm

I for pretend to not understand this o. But you see, a lot of us believers are very much like the church in Corinth (even worse)

I cannot imagine Paul writing letters to our generation today😂😂.

The church in Corinth had a huge problem 

Na dem sleep with their papa wife, fornicate pass, full of carnality pass

Their problem was indeed plenty and one thing we'd notice in the the letters to the Corinth Church was the emphasis on the help of the spirit.

Should we study well, we will see exactly why Paul ended with this prayer.

The church in Corinth had a Carnality problem majorly because there was a deficiency in Fellowship with the Spirit.

Koinonia missing!

(Note that operating in the gifts of the spirit do not equate fellowship! It is from this Fellowship of the Holy Spirit that transformation happens for a believer. This is the location where we are changed)

[So] if we say we are partakers together and enjoy fellowship with Him when we live and move and are walking about in darkness, we are [both] speaking falsely and do not live and practice the Truth [which the Gospel presents].

1 John 1:6 AMPC

You want to know the extent of your fellowship? It's in your lives. The thoughts on your mind, the things you do when no one is watching

All what the Corinth Church did wrong, it pointed to one thing: A need to fellowship more

In fact, Paul had to close his letter by praying that need for them. That this fellowship it will be with you people forever o.

I use myself as an example on this so much

"Stop sinning"

If you like make vow to God with your life, na lie. Tomorrow you will go back. Because it is not your integrity that keeps you

It is fellowship. It shows us the way and helps us to walk in truth. The spirit, the one who is Help, He provides Help as we fellowship.

I hardly ever tell people stop fornicating, stop doing this or that (Except it's a direct instruction from God).

Infact, I never focus on the stop

My focus is Fellowship; Koinonia. This is where all the change happens without stress. This is as valid for us as it was for the church in Corinth

How does this change happen? 

God rubs off on us in fellowship. Literally!

This invitation to fellowship is forever open to us.

And now more than before, there is an urgency for us believers to fellowship with God (especially for such a time as this).

God wants to reveal His thoughts and mind to us. He wants us to feel His heartbeat and know His emotions at all times.

Is God happy about xyz? Sometimes I'm fellowshipping and I just see God's smile. 

Here’s the one thing I crave from God, the one thing I seek above all else: I want the privilege of living with him every moment in his house, finding the sweet loveliness of his face, filled with awe, delighting in his glory and grace. I want to live my life so close to him that he takes pleasure in my every prayer.

Psalms 27:4 TPT

True fellowship goes both ways. Thing is, the Holy spirit is already inside of you for this reason looking forward to every intimate moment.

The spirit craves this more than you know. This is one of the major reasons for His existence in you

Whatever it is you are struggling with as a believer, take your eyes off it, take you mind off it.

That sin? That struggle? Ignore it. You actually can't do anything about them on your own. You will end up struggling more and more. 

Why not just focus on being with the spirit instead? Leave those things and shift your attention to fellowship

Take the hand the spirit extends to you for fellowship and begin. 

Let us pray

May the grace (favor and spiritual blessing) of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the presence and fellowship (the communion and sharing together, and participation) in the Holy Spirit be with us all from this day forever more.